Feeling sad...

My husband, son and mom just left for the airport. I can't ride in the car right now, and so I'm left here in the house, feeling like, again, a piece of my heart has broken off. I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but every time my family comes to see me, or I go to see them, and we part, it is physically painful for me.

I've been so blessed in my life to have had a loving family. Is it perfect? No, but no one on this earth is. We've been through some hard times, and some of those times are still going on, but I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that when I need any one of them, they are there.

When I met my husband, and found out that I would be moving 900 miles from my family, I pushed that aside - for the most part - so as to fully enjoy the happiness of finally finding the love of my life. (It had taken a ridiculously long time to find him!) I think I knew it would be overwhelming for me, and didn't want to deal with that. Over the years, I've dealt with it in spurts, when we have to leave at the end of a visit. Is that the best way to have handled it? I don't know, but it makes the separation all the more difficult.

My life here in Texas is so wonderful. I have an incredible husband who loves me and treats me with respect. We have so much fun together - still! We also have a beautiful little boy who brings us so much joy, and quite a bit of stress! The only thing missing, in my mind, is the physical closeness between my parents, sister and me. I wouldn't trade my life here for that, but I wish that aspect were different.

Okay, I'm done whining. What I will do now, is to thank God for giving me something that means so much that it breaks my heart to be away from it. There are many in this world not as blessed as I am. I will cherish every moment I have with them, and look forward to the next.

Until next time...God Bless.

I have not fallen off the face of the earth....again..

Contrary to popular opinion, I am still alive...again. When I started this blog, I said that I would use it as a way to get me writing again, and that I would keep at it, no matter what. I haven't done that, and it aggravates me. I have let a busy summer, among other things, get in the way, and that needs to stop. So here goes...

This past Tuesday, I had a radical hysterectomy. By radical, I mean that everything is gone. Some hysterectomies involve taking everything except the ovaries, but my ovaries were covered in cysts and fybroids, so they're gone, too. I feel liberated. For anyone reading this who is not a woman, I'll spare you the gory details, but about three weeks of every months were very difficult for me and those around me. I had many physical and emotional symptoms that made life somewhat difficult. It's going to be so strange for me in about four weeks when I'm not a miserable wreck. It'll be a happy time for my husband and son. No crazy woman in the household. Well, I'm still crazy, but it won't be from something physical. My personality is what it is.

My Mom flew in the day before my surgery to help me, and she's been wonderful. It's awfully hard having her so far away (in St. Louis). As time passes and I see her beginning to deteriorate in health, I so wish I could get my folks to move closer so that I can not only help take care of them, as they have for me some 41 years, but so that I can soak in as much of my parents as I can before they're gone. We don't always see eye-to-eye on everything, but both of my parents are very special people, and this world will be so much worse off without them in it.

Okay, enough for now. The residual anesthesia in my system is making my eyelids feel heavy. I WILL write more later! God bless!